Kingdom Fangirls
by Key of Ra
Summary: Offered a job in Kingdom Hearts: Disneyland, Amaya and Kiisa now join forces with other fangirls to create their favorite pairings. Now, how to do it is the question. -Yeah, it's to pimp our favorite authors and stories on FFN.
1. Welcome to Wonderland

_A/N: Ok, this is nothing more than an excuse to promote our favorite stories and authors on FFN. Yes, I did say our. I'm working with my best friend Kiisa on this insane fic. And even though there are plety of OCs in this fic, none will be paired with any bishie, so hopefully that will keep you Mary Sue haters off my tail. In fact, the plot of this fic centers around trying to get our favorite pairings together._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Zemyx would be canon._

_Warnings: AU, yaoi (shounen-ai really), and fangirl OCs_

_Pairings: Zemyx, AkuRoku, SephirothCloud, Marlene, Soriku, XemSaïx, and whatever else happens to occur._

* * *

"A very merry unbirthday to you!"

"To me?"

"To you!"

"A very merry unbirthday to you!"

"Who, me?"

"Yes you!"

"Now blow the candle out my dear and make your wish come true!"

"A very merry unbirthday to you!"

Sometimes Amaya wondered why she took this job. Then she glanced toward the long table around which she danced wildly and sang happily. She spotted Kiisa and the other waitresses grinning and singing just as crazily as she and the guests, some admittedly forced to attend, and her doubt lifted. She was surrounded by the new and old friends she had made at the Mad Tea House and her favorite game in the whole, wide world here at Kingdom Hearts: Disneyland. As a Mad Waitress, she could openly stalk Sephiroth and Zexion like the fangirl she was. Truly, the only problem with her job was that it really needed a pay raise.

xxxxxWelcome to Wonderlandxxxxx

"Kiisa! Leave the poor shadow alone!" Amaya reprimanded her best friend for the 50th time that day. It may have just been a hologram, but that didn't mean that poking it was nice.

"But it's so cute!" Kiisa squealed and attempted to hug it.

"Fine, whatever," Amaya sighed and turned to the nearest map. "Where's Wonderland?" Now, normally you wouldn't expect a map to talk to you, so it wasn't surprising when it didn't answer. Muttering under her breath, Amaya located Wonderland on her own. They needed to go left.

"Left! Kiisa, I _told_ you we needed to go left! But no, you went right and got us lost in Agrabah!" Amaya fumed. Kiisa continued to simply attempt to hug the shadow, successfully ignoring her friend's annoyance. "Because of you we've been wandering for hours in every world _except_ Wonderland!"

"We missed Halloween Town and the World That Never Was," Kiisa shrugged.

"Not like you didn't like seeing Sephiroth in Hollow Bastion."

"That has nothing to do with you getting us lost!"

"Hmmm…right. So why are we meeting your uncle in Wonderland again?"

"He's one of the guys who run the park and offered us jobs here for the summer, remember?"

"Oh! Hey, look! It's one of those mushroom thingys!" Kiisa grinned and ran off, chasing the rare, white heartless. Amaya sighed; at least she was going the right way this time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

They were finally in Wonderland, Kiisa having chased the mushroom all the way to the Mad Tea House. Amaya let out a sigh of relief; someone has decided to take pity on her.

"You're late!" a laughing voice called out. Amaya winced and turned guiltily towards the voice. Even though they had come two hours early since she had expected something to distract her and her companion they were still a good half-hour late. Her uncle stood in front of the Tea House with his arms crossed and a smirk across his face. A large green top hat sat perched oddly atop his head and a blue bow tie and yellow jacket served to further his Mad Hatter appearance.

"Uncle? _You're_ the Hatter?" Amaya asked, slightly confused. She had expected him to be one of those people who sat in an office, not wandering around the park as a character. He was an _Imangineer_, for crying out loud.

"Uncle? Well, if I'm your uncle then you're aunt is the Queen of Hearts. Wouldn't that be fun? Now, time's a-wasting, Aya. It's an unbirthday and we celebrate with tea! Come in! Come in!" And with that, he strode into the building.

"Your uncle's cool," Kiisa grinned.

"Thanks?"

"So, let's go in," Kiisa turned around and skipped lightly into the building, oblivious to the eyes staring at her from the nearest tree. Amaya wasn't so unaware.

"Hologram?" She asked.

"Hmmm…maybe, maybe not," it replied. "You're mad if you go in there."

"And pray tell, why?" Amaya grinned. It was the Cheshire cat, her favorite Alice in Wonderland character.

"Why? The Mad Hatter's in there. He's mad you know, mad as the March Hare. He's in there too," the cat replied.

"And if I am mad?" Amaya questioned.

"Going in there would be sane. Thus, you shouldn't go in. It's a bad idea both ways. I'd go to the queen, Alice left and she wants to play croquet. She'll get mad if she doesn't play and then she'll come here."

"You're actually making sense…"Amaya laughed. It talked in circles, but it had made an interesting paradox of her going into the Tea House.

"I am? Oh dear," the cat grinned and vanished. Shaking her head, Amaya passed through the doorway and instantly understood what the cat had meant. The room was filled with little, round tables where a crowd of girls sat and sipped cups of tea. Kiisa happened to be sitting at a table near the back with another blonde and the two were chatting happily. Noticing Amaya, Kiisa waved and motioned to come and sit down. Weaving through the hazards, she reached the table and was about to sit when her uncle walked in out of nowhere and jumped onto their table.

"Morning girls! Today we add two new waitresses to the ranks! Meet Amaya and Kiisa! Now I leave you to explain their jobs." Once that was said, he hopped off the table and left. Silence reigned for a moment and then the room burst into sound as all the girls bombarded them with questions.

"Ack! One at a time!" Kiisa yelled, waving her arms wildly as she panicked. Sheepishly, the other girls quieted and repeated their questions.

"What pairings do you support?" A red-head to their left called out.

"My OTP is SephirothCloud. However, I enjoy reading Zemyx, AkuRoku, AkuDemu, Soriku, XemSaïx, LeonCloud, MarluxiaXaldin, XalXig, MarluxiaVexen, Ximyx, and LuxDem for KH yaoi. As for het pairings, I like: Marlene, SoraKairi, RoxasNamine, and non-Mary Sue OCs," Amaya rattled off. Most of her new co-workers nodded happily and turned their attention to Kiisa.

"Minus the Ximyx and LuxDem, it's the same list," Kiisa shrugged. A few glares were set her way for taking out a set of popular pairings, but she brushed them off.

"Do you have FFN and Deviant Art accounts?"

"Yes, both are under Key of Ra," Amaya shrugged. "I don't have anything uploaded on my DA, though."

"FreakyBlondeHair," Kiisa smiled.

"Favorite World?"

"Um, The World That Never Was and Hollow Bastion tie for that," Amaya blinked, startled.

"The World That Never Was," Kiisa laughed.

"Which Org member's your fave?"

"Zexion," Amaya answered without hesitation right as Kiisa said: "Demyx."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ok, this is getting ridiculous," Amaya scowled. They had been answering random questions for the better part of an hour. "Will someone please tell us what our job is here? I might not know exactly what we're getting paid for, but it's not likely to be answering personal questions."

"You're waitresses!" a girl laughed.

"You're going to kidnap our publicity!" another added.

"What?" Amaya asked.

"You two are going to kidnap the bishies to come to our tea parties! So far we've had people alternate out the job, but that's what you two were hired for! Didn't you know what the job was when you took it?" the second girl grinned.

"Nope!" Kiisa replied happily.

"Good. Neither did we. Welcome to the Mad Tea House!"

* * *

_Ok, if you liked it, Kiisa and I would appreciate it if you review. AKA, push the little blue button or the next chapter will be your last (seeing as how Kiisa's already writing it). Unlike her, I have no problem holding the third chapter hostage for a minimum of 5 reviews._


	2. The World That Never Was Really Is

_A/N: (Kiisa refused to write an author's note, so I'm doing it for her.) I'm sorry it took so long to get this up for you people. Kiisa is lazy and didn't write for forever, and I was busy all last week with my senior CIT (counselor in training) training over Saturday and Sunday for camp this summer, cleaning the basement for my birthday party on Friday, my birthday itself on Tuesday (the 13th), and the flower show Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. (I got two blue ribbons and a 'best in category' ribbon)_

_For any of you who care, CIT training was a mix of good and bad. On Friday I cut my finger with my pocketknife and it bled like crazy yet, for some reason, didn't hurt. And I got four fires going in the rain. FOUR! Bwahahahahaha!! Ph34r my l337 pyromaniacle skillz. And we burned the food. Lol. But the Junior CITs were a pain in the ass! Ours wouldn't do a thing we asked them to do. We tried to teach them to sing the camp songs, but they wouldn't sing. I got so pissed off I really wanted to wring their necks. (Hey, we're supposed to look stupid, you idiots! Don't think you're too good to sing and dance like you're crazy, because, I hate to break it to you, you aren't. If we can do it, so can you.) I can definitly tell you that I didn't act like that when I was their age. I didn't have such a big ego that I couldn't be bothered to learn things that'll make the kids at camp enjoy themselves. Brats._

_Ok, so yeah, if you guys see any typos, please let me know. I tried to get them all when I typed it up, but I may have missed a few. And I left the rest of the writing alone, so any grammer issues, or punctuation, or things like that are entirely Kiisa's fault. It's her chapter, after all._

_Disclaimer: I asked for the rights to Kingdom Hearts for my birthday. I got a new cell phone, Kiisa's awesome card-of-doom (which actually was my favorite present, lol), giftcards from several people (my friend Kara among them - Thank you! I'm getting more manga now!), a really cool dragon kite (from Setsuka - I love you, darling!), pocky (also from Setsuka) FFXII (from Angela - You rock!), a beautiful necklace I'm putting my Oathkeeper Keyblade charm on (from my favorite Aunt and Uncle), and money from the rest of my relatives. No rights, but I'm very happy anyway._

_Warnings: AU, yaoi (shounen-ai really), and fangirl OCs_

_Pairings: Zemyx, AkuRoku, SephirothCloud, Marlene, Soriku, XemSaïx, and whatever else happens to occur._

_And since there's a manageable amount of reviews, though I'd prefer it to be unmanageable, I'll respond here!_

_MysticalxHysterical: I'm glad you like the story, and I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! Thank you for reviewing, it really makes my day! And the Zemyx will start in full force next chapter. We only decided to hint in this one. BTW: I like the idea of your Q&A fic. I hope you don't mind that I left a few of my own questions._

_jcola0823: I'm glad you think the fic looks interesting. - I'm currently debating reading your Roxette fic. I'm not too fond of the pairing, but your poem got me wanting to see what you can do with a story. So I think I'll read it when I get the time._

_rena: I'm sorry it wasn't clear to you. Do you have any suggestions to fix it? I'm always looking for help on how to improve my writing!_

_FreakyBlondeHair: Kiisa, your review doesn't count, darling. And I suggest you write faster next time so that our readers don't kill us for slow updates. You know how much you hate it when stuff you read doesn't update. Like that L/Raito fic. (blanking on the name) But, all in all, you were faster than usual, so I commend thee for it._

_Sulhadahne: OMG! I'm so happy you liked it! Kiisa and I were ecstatic when we found that you left us a review. You have no idea how much it means to us that one of our favorite authors is reading the story we're writing. (glomps) You should begin to show up either in chapter four or five, I don't know which yet, and we were hoping that we could make a big fuss over "Axelerate!". It'd be the sole focus of a few chapters if we get our way. But that's entirely your decision._

_Lifes.Lover: I'm glad you like the concept of our story. Yes, yay for Zemyx! We all love the Zemyx. And Kiisa and I must thank you, because of that quote on your homepage we're now reading "The Unfamiliar" by the.israel.project107. And then after we're done with that we'll start on your fics. -_

_Amarissia: The choir is laughing at you? I'm sorry. Hopefully your appearance in this chapter will make up for that. And when Kiisa gave me the chapter to type up, she asked me to let you know that she apologizes if you're OOC. She tried her best._

_Thanks to all of you for reviewing!_

* * *

xxxxxThe World That Never Was Really Isxxxxx

"Amaya! Hey Amaya, look at this!" Kiisa's voice floated down from the kitchen of the Mad Teahouse. She sounded excited about something, but Kiisa could get excited about anything.

"Look at what?"

"Here, in the kitchen, there's – oh just come see! So cool!"

Amaya sighed and walked towards the kitchen, knowing Kiisa wouldn't give up until she came. Well, she didn't really walk. She was still getting used to the Mad Waitress uniform. The uniform was a long-sleeved, pinstriped jacket over a black tank top, with sleevies underneath, short pinstripe skirt with pockets and belt loops, a pair of black tights, and the black high heels that were currently giving her problems. Her curly blonde hair was over her shoulder right now and on the other side of her head was the small, effeminate crown that came with the outfit for no other reason than cuteness. Or maybe it was because her aunt was the Queen of Hearts. Well, if that was the reason, everyone had already forgotten.

She stumbled into the teahouse kitchen, well, if you could call it that. Sure, in one corner there were a few sinks and ovens and buckets of flour and such for baking cakes, biscuits, and cookies, but the rest hardly looked like a kitchen at all. It was full of giant, and very oddly shaped tea kettles, coffee pots, and boiling vats of water. The air was charged with the smells of burned sugar, strange leaves and herbs, berries, caffeine, and coffee beans. It was the kind of smell that made you hungry and hyper at the same time.

Kiisa was in the baking corner, leaning over and looking behind one of the ovens. Seeing the other girl, she straightened back up and Amaya saw that she had the something-is-about-to-explode look on her face, so this either meant something very good or very bad.

She was wearing more or less the same outfit, but the jacket had shorter, almost tank-top like sleeves, so you could easily see the sleevies she was wearing underneath. Also, instead of the skirt, she was wearing baggy, floor-length pinstriped pants, and boots with heels almost as tall as Amaya's, but much more clunky. She also had a studded belt from who-knows-where, and a top hat, which was her favorite part of the outfit.

"Ohmygod, Amaya, I was just wandering around 'like dude, weird kitchen,' and I'm like 'I bet there's spider webs and stuff behind this oven,' and I look and oh, just look yourself!"

At this point, there was no way to get her to shut up without looking. Amaya wasn't really sure she _wanted_ to see, but she bent to look behind the oven anyway.

Now, most theme parks have fire extinguishers in glass cases that say 'break in case of emergency.' Behind the ovens of the Mad Teahouse, however, there was a giant glass case with 'break in case of Deep Shit' printed on it. Inside the case was a foot-wide and six-feet-long, one hundred and fifty pound, slightly rusted sword.

"…Wow."

"Yeah, and look at this cabinet, there's tea, but there's all sorts of ninja stuff in the back-"

"A-hem."

Startled, Amaya turned toward the doorway of the kitchen, where one of the other girls they had just met was standing. Honestly, Amaya had never been good with names, but she thought that the other girl's was Nicole, or Kelle, or something like that.

She smiled at Kiisa's incredibly guilty look. "No one's using the ninja stuff, it's left over from one of the previous waitresses, so if you're not on the job, you can use them, I guess. The sword's mine, though. Anyway, Amarissia's looking for you two. You're going to go meet your victims."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You're in the scion of the park known fondly as The Nuthouse. It includes Wonderland, Halloween Town and The World that Never Was. That's where you're going."

"Really?!"

Amaya had chattered on for a while as they were walking down the cobblestone paths with one of the older fangirls they had just met. She was very pretty, and seemed sophisticated to Kiisa. What was her name? Amary-somethiing, Amarissia, that's what it was. Kiisa was walking behind them, being social was Amaya's job. Kiisa was there for the explosions, or anything else with dramatic or romantic potential.

They were at the end of the path, and had gotten to the Gummi Ship system. The whole park was set up on islands, starting at the Destiny Islands with a walkway to Traverse Town through the little cave with that weird door that exists for no reason in the game and the only way to get to the other 'worlds,' aka islands, was using the river system. The 'Gummi Ships' were actually boats, and unfortunately couldn't fly, but were carved and painted to look like Gummi Ships, so the fangirls squaled anyway.

They bypassed the Gummi System however, and Kiisa realized that wherever they were going must still be on Nuthouse Island. Kiisa grinned, no wonder they ended out here.

"Oh my Ra, Kiisa, did you hear that?"

"…No?"

Amaya sighed and Amarissia giggled in a very amused way at Kiisa's guilty expression, head resting on one shoulder, and half-hearted question. "Kiisa," said Amaya slowly, "we're going to The World That Never Was."

"Really? Cool."

Amaya counted off the seconds. Delayed reaction: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

"REALLY? YAY OH MY GOD! ORGANIZATION XIII! BEST THING EVER-"

Amaya started tuning her out. She would be doing that for a while. Besides, they were almost there.

Above them, looking exactly like how it did in the game, was the castle that never was. Parts of an empty city lay around it, but here it wasn't so empty. There were people in the streets, half of them cosplaying the Organization, but Amarissia said they would be able to tell who the real ones were. Of course, the 'real ones' were cosplayers too, but Kiisa knew better than to say that out loud.

And in front of this grim, hulking city with forbidding techno-pop music playing from hidden speakers all over the place, there was a brightly colored, pastel pink entryway. It was vaguely arc shaped and on the top was a cartoon image of The Superior hugging an armful of hearts. In fancy script it said: 'Thank you for donating your heart! 3' and to enter you had to walk through one of those glass, spinny things you turn as you enter one of those fancy hotel buildings. Every time someone walked through it, the counter below the text clicked up once more. And somehow, in some freaky way, it knew if you had been through before and never counted anyone twice. Amaya and Kiisa happily walked through as the counter went up two more with a happy 'ding!' each time, although it didn't count anything for Amarissia. In other words, the whole thing reeked of Demyx, not that anyone was complaining, of course.

Amarissia walked straight to the entryway of the castle, chatting happily with Amaya, as Kiisa stared around in amazement and, miraculously, only tripped once or twice. The crowd parted for them as, apparently, the Mad Waitresses had already gained a sense of infamy and respect within the park. Kiisa hardly noticed this, though, as her thoughts were focused on meeting the Organization after years of idolizing them and an unhealthy Kingdom Hearts obsession.

The doors to the ominous hallways and giant staircases were wide open. People walked in a hushed excitement – Organization XIII had not been seen, nor caused any havoc yet today and nobody knew why. Nobody, of course, save the administration and the Nobodies themselves. In truth, it was simply the fact that two new Mad Waitresses had been hired and they were to meet them today in the 100th level of the castle.

Amarissia walked them through the castle, past a locked door (employees only, opened with a special Heartless Key), and into the Secret Elevator that was installed when Marluxia got too lazy to walk up and down the stairs all day and recruited Axel to blow a hole in the back of the castle with his stash of dynamite where number XI felt the elevator _should_ be.

The doors opened (slowly and dramatically of course) to a long hallway that was bland, white, and slightly claustrophobia inducing. That actually made Kiisa feel at home – she was find of enclosed, darker places. Nothing could jump out at you.

Amarissia turned around and smiled at them. "Welcome to the coolest place in the world."

Amaya blinked, "Um…what?"

"Behind any one of these doors are the personal rooms of the Organization members and a few lounge rooms. When you look closer down the hall, they start getting roman numerals, I – XIII, painted in them, and since our Naminé wanted her room to be here instead of on the Destiny Islands, we have a XIV too. Well, it was until we heard the rumors about the 'actual XIV' from that 358/2 Days game, so it has a crossed out XIV, a frowny face, and 'Naminé' painted on it. The one with the painted rainbows and stuff in obviously Demyx's-" Kiisa squealed here, "- and the one where Larxene spray-painted 'emo' in pretty pink writing is Zexion's." It was Amaya's turn to squeal. "Oh, and the one that's entirely black with a single foreboding 'I' is Xemnas's. Ah, and here we are at the main lounge."

"The door with all the screaming coming from it?" Kiisa asked with a little bit of a grin.

Amarissia's mouth opened and closed. She trod to the leery, non-threatening looking door, listened for a second, then said: "Yes. It's the door with all the girly screaming coming from it."

The three fangirls exchanged looks.

"Five bucks on something perverted."

"Ten on someone being beaten up."

Kiisa considered the options for a moment. "Six dollars and sixty-six cents it has something to do with popcorn."

They opened the door.

Several ducks seemed to have gotten in, one of which was attempting to eat Naminé while piles of shredded paper were burning all around the room, slowly becoming ashes. The obvious culprit for the fires, Axel, was bound, gagged, and stuck to the far wall with over 300 push-pins, and Saïx had been KO'd in the corner for some unknown reason. Marluxia and Larxene were both chasing after a madly screaming Demyx, who then tripped over an upside-down couch and went sprawling into Zexion. And the three waitresses were just in time to see Xigbar, who had just been calmly standing there, stride across the room and give Xaldin an emotionless bitch-slap.

Amarissia turned around and walked right back out.

Amaya blinked a few times.

After a second or two, Kiisa fell over laughing.

* * *

_Now then, the purpose of this fic is to pimp authors and stories that we like. If you review, we look at your homepage and stories. If we like them, we pimp them with your permission. Thus, the vicious cycle continues. Get the idea? Click the review button._

_Now then, remember my promise last chapter? Well, we got six reviews that count, so the third chapter will be up even if no one reviews this time around. See? I keep my promises. But I'll be sad if we get no reviews so please click the button. It really makes my day._


	3. The Hunting of the Bishie

_A/N: Well, I got this chapter up faster than Kiisa got hers to me, so maybe you guys won't kill me. Yeah, I was really bored and at a loss for how to work with the chaos, so I rewrote the first two fits of "The Hunting of the Snark" for this chapter._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, it belongs to Sqare. Or The Hunting of the Snark. That belongs to Lewis Carroll. I'll I own is Amaya, 'cause that's me. Kiisa and all the other OC's own themselves, and they know who they are._

_Warnings: AU, yaoi (shounen-ai really), and fangirl OCs_

_Pairings: Zemyx, AkuRoku, SephirothCloud, Marlene, Soriku, XemSaïx, and whatever else happens to occur._

_And since there's a manageable amount of reviews, though I'd prefer it to be unmanageable, I'll respond here!_

_Sulhadahne: Honestly, I had no idea what possessed Kiisa to put in the ducks, so I just ran with it. And I really am afraid of ducks. The farm thing actually happened to me._

_Amarissia: I'm glad you liked it, though Kiisa's the one who wrote it and she has yet to even look at the reviews...(glares at Kiisa) Zacky likes the uniforms? Yay! (hugs your Zacky) And I'm glad Sephy approves of my pyro skillz. Maybe we can go set Heidegger's office on fire together sometime!_

_Review Whore: Heh, you show up in this chapter! And I'm glad you finally started reading it. If you hadn't...well, I know where you live. (grins evilly)_

_Thanks for reviewing, guys!_

* * *

xxxxxThe Hunting of the Bishiexxxxx

"This is _so _going in the Book of Zemyx!" Amaya squealed as soon as her mind got over the pure chaos. She whipped out her cell phone and took a picture before either Zexion or Demyx could register what she said. Kiisa looked up from the floor, tears sparkling in her eyes.

"No wonder Amarissia said that we'd know who the real Organization members are," Kiisa giggled.

"Speaking of Amarissia, where is she?" Amaya wondered aloud.

"She left. Which is what you should be doing, _fangirls_." Larxene hissed. "That is, unless you want me to set the ducks on you." At this, all the ducks in the room gave a single menacing quack and turned their beady eyes towards the girls. Amaya gulped, ducks were evil, no question about it. Once, when she was six, she had been at a farm with ducks and they had all attacked her. Not any of the other kids, just her. Amaya grew paler as she recalled that incident and turned to her best friend.

"Let's go Kiisa."

"But I _like_ duckies!" Kiisa whined.

"Your funeral," Amaya shuddered and walked back out into the hallway where Amarissia was standing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few hours later, Amarissia and Amaya had been chatting and drinking tea in the waitress' lounge while discussing the AngealZack pairing of Final Fantasy VII when an older waitress pranced in.

"Alright girls, time to earn your pay! You get to go bring in our bishies today!" she pronounced, pointing at both girls sitting at the table. "But wait, we're missing one! She can't be left out of the fun!"

"I sent one of the other girls to retrieve her mangled corpse after Larxene and the ducks get through with it," Amaya stated primly. There was no way she was going back there today, even if Kiisa was in danger. She _had_ tried to stop her. "And what's with the rhyming?"

"Rhyming? Is it true? Is my speaking annoying you?" the girl laughed.

"Mildly," Amaya conceded.

"AMAYA! WE'RE BAAAACK!" Kiisa yelled as she launched herself at her best friend who had attempted to abandon her to a horrible fate. Yet, despite said horrible fate, she hadn't a scratch on her.

"Oh good, you're finally here. Now let's go get our bishies, dear!" the Fangirl (as Amaya had dubbed her for lack of a name) grinned.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fit the First:

The Landing

.

"Just the place for a bishie!" the Fangirl cried,

As she landed her crew with care;

Supporting each person on top of the tide

By a finger entwined in her hair.

.

"Just the place for a bishie! I have said it twice:

That alone should encourage the crew.

Just the place for a bishie! I have said it thrice:

What I tell you three times is true."

.

The crew was complete: it included a Kiisa –

A writer and maker of art –

An Amarissia, brought to encourage the yaoi –

And a computer to document their part.

.

There was also an Amaya, that paced on the deck,

Or would sit making stories in the bow:

And had often (the Fangirl said) saved them from wreck

Though none of the others knew how.

.

There was one who was famed for the number of things

She forgot when she entered the ship:

Her net, her watch, all her candy and bribes

For the bishies they'd bring on the return trip.

.

The loss of her net hardly mattered, because

She had one on her head when she came,

With three packs of pocky – but the worst of it was

She had wholly forgotten her name!

.

She would answer to "Hi!" or to any loud cry,

Such as "You!" or "Girl over there!"

To "Waitress!" or "What-was-her-name!"

But especially "Sword-and-brown-hair!"

.

While for those who preferred a more forcible word,

She had different names from these:

Her intimate friends called her "Review Whore",

And her enemies "Smelly-cheese".

.

"Her looks are average – her intellect fine –"

(So the Fangirl would often say) –

"But her courage and stealth are perfect! And those, after all,

Are the things one needs with bishies these days!

.

Fit the Second:

The Fangirl's Speech

.

The Fangirl herself they praised to the skies –

Such a carriage, such ease and such grace!

Such solemnity too! One could see she was wise,

The moment one looked in her face!

.

She had brought a large map representing the park

Without anything on it to see.

A thing, as the Fangirl was heard to remark,

Was, "Puzzling even for me."

.

But the danger was past – they had landed at last,

Their gummi ship waiting in port,

Yet at first sight they were not pleased with the view

It was not Hollow Bastion, but a wood of some sort.

.

"Back to the ship!" The Fangirl cried

Horror and disgust in her look,

It was the kiddie island,

Specifically: Pooh Bear's book.

.

The crew screamed, running away,

They had realized their error.

Freaking out, afraid their eyes would decay

They fled from the island in terror.

.

Eventually they reached the island they wanted:

Hollow Bastion (Radiant Garden and Villain's Vale).

The girls sighed in relief and rested a bit

Before they set out on the bishies' trail.

.

The Fangirl perceived that their spirits were low,

And repeated in a musical tone

Some jokes she had kept for a season of woe –

But the crew would do nothing but groan.

.

She served out some tea with a liberal hand,

And bade them sit down on the dock:

And they could not but own that their captain looked grand

As she stood and started to talk.

.

"We have sailed many hours, we have sailed many minutes,

(60 minutes to the hour I allow),

But a bishie on which we may lovingly gaze,

We have not beheld until now!

.

"Come listen my friends, while I tell you again

The five unmistakable marks

By which you may know, wheresoever you go,

Bishies from cosplaying larks.

.

"Let us take them in order. The first is the taste,

Which is the salty-sweet of seasalt ice-cream:

But if you kiss them they'll run away with all haste

They don't like us so they'll scream.

.

"The cosplayers' habits of getting up late, you'll agree

That it carries them too far, when I say

That they frequently breakfast at five-o'clock tea,

And dine on the following day.

.

"The third are their actions, exactly correct

Nothing they say is OOC:

The cosplayers always try so hard

But none are as good as our bishies can be!

.

"The fourth is their fondness for weapons,

Which they constantly carry about,

And believe that they add to the beauty of scenes –

A sentiment open to doubt.

.

"The fifth is the cosplayers' ambition. To describe every one,

Trying to get them grouped right:

Distinguishing those that are angsty and dark,

From those that are peppy and light.

.

"For although most bishies unconsciously yaoi,

I feel it my duty to say

Some are obviously straight –" the Fangirl broke off in alarm

For Amarissia had fainted away.

* * *

_Ok, I got two reviews this time, guys. (because Review Whore's doesn't count as I made her leave one) I'm happy I got reviews, but I'd like more. Five reviews for the next chapter, or no next chapter because I have found that I can hold Kiisa's chapters hostage as well as my own. Now then, clicky the buton._

_(And Kiisa, darling, why didn't you leave a review? -sniffles- I know it was your chapter, and that the review doesn't count if I'm holding a chapter hostage, but I do like to know that you've at least seen the chapter.)_


	4. Begin Operation

_Extra strength A/N of death: Ello! The FreakyBlondeKiisa here, reporting for duty. Yes, Aya, I'm actually off my butt and writing. In the immortal, foolish words of Coldstone ice cream: No, you're not dreaming. (Long story behind that one...)_

_I'll let you know that my fellow author ABANDONED me in the good old Land of Ten Thousand Lakes (where? Look it up!) to go to Chicago, see Wicked and drool over hot menz in Renaissance costumes (which she apparently has picture of that I haven't seen yet), one of which apparently locked eyes with her and gave her a hug and a carnation. FLOWERS. What am_ I_ doing? Watching BBC America and the Hindenburg episode of Mythbusters for the fifth time, trying to lose ten pounds, and writing our fanfiction. _

_glare at Amaya rant over. See Amaya, this is what happens when you leave me. I bore our brave, loyal, heroic readers with my ranting. On to reviews. _

_Tearworkshop: We... win... the... internet? glomp-hug-scream-hyperventilate-freakout YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON NOW! Now that the internet belongs to me- I mean, us- I can begin my evil plans of evil! Yes!_

_Sulhadane: Do the fangirls get bishies? NO NO NO NO NO GOD NO gasp Amaya and I have intense paranoia of both Mary-sues and Mary-sue flamers. We hope to get them off our tail this way. _

_Amarissia: Carroll made my world. _

_Fine Little Voices: Are straight bishounen really so bad? It means the rest of us get a chance..._

_FreakyBlondeHair: Oh snap, it's me. :D_

_LifesLover: Yes, we are poetic. Theatric, romantic, and dramatic as well. Amaya's Birthday 'card' from me was sixteen of the eighteen verses of 'The Walrus and the Carpenter' formatted into 'The Kiisa and the Amaya' and my older sister's Christmas card a few years back turned her into the Jabberwocky. Larxene the win. And yes, Amaya is a review Scrooge. My chapters are so late because I'm lazy._

_Lia Silverfrond: Thanx bunches! _

_Disclaimer: I could try to remember all the random crap I referenced in here... but... oh god, I don't have that memory. Let's just say I own NOTHING but Kiisa and be done with it, kay? Actually, Amaya even made up Kiisa's name... Oh God I'm poor. _

_Looks around That all? Yes? ONTO THE CHAPTER!_

* * *

xxxxxBegin Operationxxxxx

Kiisa blinked in surprise. "Weird. I get the feeling I just spoke in verse for about five pages...and that someone took a wrecking ball to the fourth wall.

Amaya just rolled her eyes and decided not to bring up the day Kiisa spent a whole lunch hour singing everything she said in Carlotta-esque opera for fear of relapse. Beside, she was trying to revive Amarissia, who had taken it upon herself to prove that heterophobia can be as dangerous as homophobia.

That's when Kiisa noticed she was on a Gummi Ship. She decided not to make a fuss over her state of oblivion and just stare over the rail at the swishing water. Pretty water, really, bottle-glass green with floating summer leaves that rippled around the hull, reminded her of days with her grandparents in Logansport... This stuff happened to her all the time anyway. Just a few weeks ago she found herself in the Book Sanctuary (better known as the Library) instead of school because she just walked without paying any attention to where she was going...

A fresh bout of squeals brought Kiisa's wandering thoughts back to reality. Ah, Amarissia had been awakened. Apparently the first aid kits here contained batteries, gummi life savers, a hairbrush, a can of coca-cola, some headache medicine, duct tape, a yaoi fanfiction, and the ability to speak. It took soda, lifesavers, fanfiction, and a lot of screaming to revive Amarissia. She was now shakily sitting up and reading a copy of Alkalinity by Kanousei.

Kiisa turned to the fangirl with mid-length mousey hair and cute chunky glasses who leaned against the rail next to her. Kiisa cracked a lop-sided grin and asked, "So, where we goin'?" in the closest she could get to a New Zealander accent.

The fellow fan turned to her with an expression on her face that wasn't sure if it was shocked, confused, amused, or pained at the terrible imitation of Pippin. "Are you... trying to make a Lord of the Rings joke?"

Kiisa flushed in embarrassment and looked down. "Yeah, but I failed." After a pause, she said cautiously "But... well... I actually don't know where we're going..."

The girl smiled, "You're the new waitress, Amaya's friend, aren't you? I can tell by her description. Anyway, we're headed to Hollow Bastion."

"My reputation precedes me, I see. Hollow Bastion... isn't that the Castle where all the bishies are psychotic with dangerous looking hair and gigantic weapontry? Cuz they scare me. I like soft, cuddly bishies more..."

She laughed softly. "Yes, it is. Our current target is Cloud. I can't really symphasize with you, because my bishounen is Alucard from Hellsing..."

Kiisa's eyes practically bugged out of her head and she immediately switched from 'peaceful/moderately shy' to 'crazy freak out.' "HOLY LORD OF TAPE are you SULHADANE?"

Sulhadane instinctively backed up from the suddenly berserk Kiisa "Um, I think that depends on who's paying you to find out..."

"Ohmygod, YAY." This was the beginning of Kiisa's reputation as 'the fangirl of other fangirls.' "Hey, aren't the admin live-actioning Axelerate in a few days?"

Sulhadane smiled brightly. "Yeah, I'm so proud it was picked!"

"I know, it's one of my favorites! You're so lucky they're live-actioning it... um... whatever that happens to be..."

Sulhadane tipped her head to one side, questioning. "Tell me, does Amaya keep you in oblivion on purpose because It's too dangerous otherwise, or are you always like this?"

"No, as a rule, in a story or comic, it's a good idea to have one of your main characters slow at figuring things out or not in the know. This way, other characters have to explain things more thoroughly to this character, so consequently, the reader gets an in-depth explanation of the situation given to them. That's why the main character of his girlfriend/ best friend/ whatever always seems stupid," commented Kiisa casually, examining a piece of the recently destroyed fourth wall. There was a short silence common and almost patented for conversations with Kiisa. She then turned to Sulhadane with a bright smile. "So, what's live actioning?"

"Well. Um..." It took Sulhadane a second or two to recover. "One of the most popular fanfictions or doujinshi gets picked by the fangirl staff when business is slow, and they act it out all over the park like it's really happening. Some scenes take place on The Stage, some totally in the middle of the park. We've even kidnapped random bystanders for the sake of the story! Axelerate is coming up in just a few days, it's already cast, and I'm so exited!"

A huge grin had been slowly spreading across Kiisa's face as she listened to the explanation. "Tell me... even though it's cast, could Amaya and I take place in scenes that need extras?"

Sulhadane considered. "I'm not really in charge, but I don't see why not."

The smile exploded across Kiisa's face, revealing the much- accursed dimples. "Could we get a bike or something for Monde Race? Review Whore can be our Mechanic."

"Sure! We were low on people who wanted to brave the race anyway. I'll get you two set up!"

"HOLLOW BASTION, STRAIGHT AHEAD!" Shouted Review, who had been on look out as she raised her sword triumphantly in the direction of the castle.

"Down girl, no killing today, just capture and release," said Amaya, sounding like she said this every day.

Review pouted. "But... I require blood..."

"NO. BAD REVIEW."Amaya smacked her on the head with a rolled-up copy of Symphony. (Written by Axenator, BEST ZEMYX EVER. Subliminal messaging over.)

Sulhadane laughed. "I think I could get used to you guys."

Kiisa laughed with her and joined as they stepped off the boat onto dry land. She decided not to reveal that neither she nor Amaya could drive.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

A fangirl Kiisa didn't recognize was giving a pep talk, "Now then, Cloud is a medium-difficulty capture, unless in a submissive mood. But if caught in that case, we usually release him back into the wild, or more specifically, to Sephiroth, Zack, or Leon..." Kiisa didn't remember school pep talks being this interesting. She usually made it a point to space out during them, with got her into trouble in Phys Ed when the game suddenly started and she had no idea what they were playing. But I think we of the Fourth Wall Committee have pushed the point that Kiisa never knows anything far enough.

"Target Codename Cloud has been sighted on the east gardens of Location Hollow Bastion Castle. He is with Character Aeris, a normally docile but very protective older female character. Can be reasoned with, not to be underestimated. They are surrounded by approximately fifty Non-player Characters, codename Tourists, which can be used to our tactical advantage if thrown using the proper technique. I'm setting three troops on Mayhem Crew to disperse the crown, two more specifically to hold back Aeris, two for the capture with the Bishie Net, and remainder back-up with two troops ready to start the ship for quick escape. Volunteers?"

"MAYHEM CREW! MAYHEM!" shouted Review immediately. She didn't need to say it, though, it was always her job when Mayhem was needed.

Spots were quickly given out after that. As it was their first mission, Amaya and Kiisa were on back-up, emergency only. They were supposed to watch and learn.

Kiisa was watching- well, the sky, that is. There was a beautiful... bird, maybe, way up high, silver and black and flying quickly over here. Kiisa wondered how it could actually fly. Must be Disney Magic. Ominous music started playing on the hidden speakers, but the mission was started, and the music was drowned out by the chaos as Mayhem ran in with a loud "SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Amaya was watching how the capture worked, so that she might know what to do in the future. Glancing over at her idyllic friend, who seemed more interested in the sky, she followed her gaze and gaped.

"Sephiroth!"

* * *

_Ok, ok, I get it, I'm a review scrooge, geeze Kiisa. How's this, I'm not holding chapters hostage anymore, but if you don't review I will find a rusty spork and hunt you down with it. And believe me, I _will_ do it. (glares)_

_Ok, sheesh Kiisa, I get it. _Please_ review or I will hunt you down with a rusty spork. Happy? Yes? Good._


	5. Sephiroth and Leon and Zack, oh my!

_A/N: Well, sorry for my long update, I was distracted by FFVII. You know, we need a specific place to apologize to you loyal readers for putting up with us. That, and offer our specific excuses for the chapter. Anyway, Kiisa's back from camp and I'm not stuck playing babysitter as a camp councilor anymore so I figured, what the heck, I might as well write the next chapter. It's been planned out in advance already. And then I got sucked onto a crazy trip to visit the relatives that ended up with me having to face a demon cow that got into my grandparents' back yard and well, the rest is history._

_Excuses: See, I said we needed a place to put these. In case you didn't get the memo, I'm currently resisting the siren call of FFVII after a few weeks of horror so be thankful._

_Key of Ra: Hey, it's me! Yesh, two flowers, Kiisa. Sheesh, get it right. (And he kissed one of them. -fangirl squeal- )_

_Amarissia: I still blame myself for turning you to the KH fandom. -. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that you think we're doing a good job with your character. -hugs-_

_TearWorkshop: We get all the internets? -faints- Wow! Thank you so much! And muffins too? I love you! -hugglomptackle-_

_Sulhadanhe: Maybe on the romance…you think it's a good idea? And we're honored you let us feature you and Axelerate! in our story. It's one of our favorite fics. -hugs- I'm really glad you like the way we write, and believe me, Kiisa and I will be doing a lot more with the fourth wall._

_6-The-Cloaked-Nocturne-9: Zemyx is the key word, my friend. And I adore Symphony. It's honestly the first story in Kiisa's and my 'Holy Book of Zemyx.' Kiisa and I have always wanted to work in a Bath and Body Works after we read that fic._

_brickwallXdemyxXjordanX: Ok, first thing's first, we're flattered that you like our work, but we really don't like it when people tell us to update. It makes us want to put off updating. So we do. So just for future reference, please don't do that again. Especially when it hasn't been at least a week since we last updated. Kiisa takes two to four weeks for me to get her writing (on average) and I take anywhere from a week to three weeks on this fic, normally. (I made an exception in my work ethic this time.) So don't expect quick updates. We're lazy people and it's summer vacation._

_Lifes.Lover: Um, yeah, just ignore my threats, please. That's mainly for the lurkers. Yes, yay for multiple yaoi pairings, and we're actually acting on one of those pairings for this chapter. Yeah, good fluffy Zemyx is extremely difficult to come by. Emoness and angst does get old after a while. We're glad you liked it, now to rectify that fourth wall problem..._

_Disclaimer: I'm like Xemnas, I rip off other people's stuff and use it for myself. And yes, those are /so/ lightsabers, I don't care what you say, Mansex._

* * *

Cursing her attention having been on the capture of Cloud and patching up the broken fourth wall, Amaya quickly rectified the situation and stared at the sky. Now that she noticed the angel, she listened intently and made out the strains of his theme music echoing behind the scream of the mayhem group and those they were harassing. Now, one might believe that all hell had broken loose when Review was unleashed upon the poor defenseless NPCs, that was not so. However, Amaya did not think of the consequences to letting Sephiroth land unhindered in their midst and instead wondered as to how he was flying.

"Hey, Kiisa, how is he flying?"

"Disney Magic," was the calm reply.

"Ah, ok. His theme changed again." Amaya mused, listening to the words and trying to make them out amidst the screaming.

"Really?" Kiisa sounded mildly interested this time.

"Yeah, they're calling him an 'angel of death' this time." Amaya grinned. She loved her Latin dictionary.

"Cool. Hey, is it just me, or are the tourists running back towards Review as if there's some big, scary, possessive seme running at them and they'd rather face her than him?" Kiisa suddenly questioned.

"Yeah, but the big, scary, possessive seme is above them…. Oh, wait, what about Leon and Zack?" Amaya suddenly grasped the situation. "Ummm… Kiisa, we have a problem. What are we supposed to do in the event that all of the semes converge on the target in an attempt to rescue him from our clutches and gain his affection?"

Kiisa thought for a moment. "I don't know? Call for back up?"

"We _are_ the back up."

"Tell the others to retreat and get the hell out of here?"

"That sounds good." Amaya quickly waded into the mess of people and towards the girls who were working to catch Cloud. "Hey, Suhadanhe, _SEMES_ at 12 o'clock! We've got to get out of here!" At the word 'semes' all the fangirls paused in everything they were doing, although the crowd was still freaking out.

"Which ones?" Someone called over the yelling.

"Sephiroth, Leon, and Zack!"

"Oh shit." With that, the mayhem crew looked towards the sky and noticed the swiftly descending form of Sephiroth then quickly turned their attention to the crowd running back towards them and away from Zack and Leon. "We can hold them for two minutes at most!"

"Got him!" Sulhadanhe cried in triumph as Cloud was knocked over the head with his own sword. Quickly, she and two other girls tied him in the net they had brought and proceeded to lift the unconscious young man above their heads so that they could run back to the gummi ship. "Review, hold them as long as possible, Kiisa, help them. Amaya, you're with us, it's time to put your skill to the test and hold off Sephiroth long enough for us to dock in Wonderland!"

Amaya gulped and ran to catch up to the girls heading for the ships, leaving Kiisa to face her immediate doom alone once again. "Ok, Aya. How do you stop THE General? If I could use magic that would be wonderful, but I can't. I have no weapons at all. Great." Amaya mentally ranted as she ran. "Let's be rational here for a minute, what weaknesses does he have?" Amaya grimaced as she dutifully answered it. "None. His HP is virtually infinite for a level 5 character like me, especially when weaponless. I can do almost nothing in the physical sense. No magic takes away that avenue… I knew I should have learned magic. Note to self: Survive this and learn spells. And get a weapon. Weapons would be nice."

Hopping onto the ship after the other three girls, Amaya watched the sky as Sephiroth drew steadily nearer to the speeding ship. Drawing a deep breath she gave a huge smile and waved to her crazy bishie. "Sephiroth, I love you!" His flight faltered slightly as he tried to ignore the fact that one of the waitresses was a fangirl. Amaya grinned. Ah, that was what she was supposed to do. "Sephy-sama, your hair is so pretty! Like silk! And you have smexy theme music! Hey, is that materia in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

Sephiroth dropped into the water, making a rather nice splash. Amaya giggled nervously, hopefully he was knocked out cold and when he woke up he wouldn't remember that it had been her shouting that. And if he did, she'd say that she had been told to yell that at the top of her lungs so that any passersby could hear her hitting on the angel and deter him from following them. Yep. Right. And no, she hadn't watched "Aeris' guide to scoring cute Final Fantasy Guys" on youtube. Nope. Not at all.

"I hate that lying bitch!" Amaya cried, collapsing on the deck of the gummi ship.

"Who?" One of the girls who wasn't Sulhadanhe asked.

"Aeris," Amaya sniffled.

"Oh, yeah. The guide doesn't work. But it managed to get Sephiroth off our tail." The girl offered and came over to hug Amaya as she wept. "Besides, all of us here have tried that at one point or another with one of our bishies. You're no different."

"Really?" Amaya looked up hopefully.

"Yeah, but I think you were the first one to try it on Sephiroth. At least, that's how it looked from his reaction."

"Great. Now he'll remember me as the girl with the really bad come-on."

"Actually, he's not likely to remember you at all if it makes you feel better."

"Strangely, it does."

The rest of the trip passed without incident because Cloud remained unconscious the entire time. So the girls tossed him inside the guest room (read: holding cell) once they got back to the tea house and sat around congratulating everyone for a job well done. Well, everyone except Amaya, as she had volunteered to watch Cloud so that he wouldn't run off or get stolen by a seme or something. Unfortunately he wasn't very good conversation material as he was still out cold, so she went back to patching the ruin of the fourth wall.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"A very merry unbirthday to you!" Amaya grinned, looking down at Cloud who had just woken up on the floor. As the young man silently glared at her she simply reached down and ruffled his hair. "You're adorable, you know that? And you have great semes who tried to rescue you. You're lucky."

"Lucky?" Cloud growled. "I'm straight. And I don't appreciate you yaoi crazed fangirls kidnapping me and forcing me to take part in these stupid tea parties."

"You'll thank us for it later when you finally choose one of those nice boys," Amaya grinned. "So, do you say Aeris or Aerith?"

"Why are you here and what does that have to do with anything?" Cloud demanded.

"I volunteered for guard duty. Now answer the question."

"Aerith." He grudgingly admitted. "I have to call her that. I call her Aeris if I can get away with it, though."

"I call her Aeris," Amaya shrugged. "I learned it that way and anyone who says Aerith sounds like they have a lisp."

"You're right." He smirked. "What's your name?"

"Amaya," she answered, grinning. "So if you had to choose a seme who'd it be?"

"I don't know…" he mused.

"Really? Hey, I know a way to peg your seme!" Amaya suddenly exclaimed. Pulling her cellphone out and accessing the internet, she pulled up the Seme/Uke quiz and handed it to Cloud. "Here, fill it out!"

Five minutes later Cloud got the "innocent uke" result and Amaya proceeded to gush about having the same result and hugging the poor young man to death. So when her fun was ruined by the door slamming open and an irate, dripping, Sephiroth strode in she was understandably annoyed. Then she had a brilliant idea.

"Take the test!" Amaya grinned, shoving her cell phone into the bishie's face. He blinked and then looked down at the site and back up at her, raising a silver eyebrow in a silent question.

"Get the right result and I might let Cloud leave with you." She teased, wondering what his result might be in the end. Needless to say, Sephiroth snatched the phone and proceeded to answer the questions. He only took two minutes. And Amaya grinned at the result presented to her. He was a "Romantic Seme," perfect.

"Hey, Cloudy, that took less time that you'd think!" Amaya grinned. "You're compatible." Then the thought struck her. If Cloud was compatible then she was compatible. Damn life for giving her Sephiroth and then having a Cloud that goes with him. Damn it all.

"Hey, Aya! You okay back there? I thought I saw Sephiroth!" someone called.

"Yeah, the angel's back here," Amaya called. "Hey, when's the big party?"

"We've got a few more minutes until we need Cloud, why?"

"Nothing!" Amaya quickly called back. "Seph, I've got a deal. I'll let you take Cloud if you stay willingly for the teaparty. Otherwise, I'll give him to Leon."

"I thought you said that if I took the test-"

"I said I might let Cloud leave with you, not that I'd let you have him right now," Amaya laughed. "So, will you stay?"

Sephiroth glared at her and she gulped, suddenly fearing for her life. "Fine, but no more tricks."

Amaya sighed in relief.

"And just for the record, _what_ did you say back on that boat? I couldn't have heard that right."

"Eh heh heh heh… Um, about that…"

* * *

**_ANNOUNCEMENT: Ok, I realize I've managed to piss some of you off by demanding reviews on Kingdom Fangirls. Kiisa's knocked some sense into me and I've stopped. There is reasoning behind it, however. I'm really insecure about my writing and if I see a lot of views but not a lot of reviews I get really worried. That's why I always wanted a minimum of 5 reviews. I wanted to know people actually liked it and wanted me to keep the story going. What I mean to say is, I'm sorry. I'm not holding chapters hostage any more. But, I WILL come after you with a rusty spork if you don't, OK? I have anon. reviews on, so you can just drop me a line even if you have no account of your own. I like constructive criticism much more than I like "Hey, good job." so don't feel obligated to say that at all. I make mistakes, I'm very much human, and if you catch errors I'd like them pointed out to me. So, yeah, sorry guys and thanks for putting up with me._**


	6. Amaya Levels Up!

_Before we begin Kiisa's rant Amaya has something to say..._

_HAPPY ZEMYX DAY! I managed to get this out of her just in time, so bask in the glory that is Zemyx. Yes, the pairing shows up. And very obviously. Oh, and there's more SephxCloud action, but that is neither here nor there._

* * *

TO Our BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS-

_TO OUR BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS-_

_**Amarissia**__- Yes, the sentence about the dangers of Hetphobia is one of the favorites I've ever written. It must be strange watching someone crack up at their own writing. I love Zack... strangely, I've always seen him as more Seme-type. Except, of course, to Sephiroth. Maybe it's because Cloud is super uke. _

_**Tear Workshop**__- All the Internets? The world is ours. I must make contact with the mothership; we never predicted the takeover would come so easily. _

_...Contact with mothership comes right after muffin. XD Your reviews make me so happy, I just brighten up seeing them. I like being funny as Hell and rocking socks. Much more than I like washing socks, because I'm on laundry duty... Gives you more wonderful smiley faces 8D have a day as happy as you make mine... :)_

_**Sulhadahne**__- Ohmygod, I'm absolutely ecstatic. Author I love loves us back? I die in peace. I'm proud to say the fourth wall thing was all my idea... I've never had much of a use for it anyway, even if Amaya likes it. I'm so happy you like my (our?) writing style, it's nice to know Amaya + I blend enough._

_**6-The-Cloacked-Nocture-9**__- Your profile entertained me forever. It's very true, and kind of hypnotic... anyway, glad to meet another in the Zemyx cult! I'm sorry we've had a lack of it until now but god help me this chapter will be Zemyx or my name is not KIISA TOYA or Freaky Blonde hair or Rachel or whatever it really is... It's RIDICULOUS how many times I've read Symphony, and last I checked Amaya is drawing a doujinshi for it. _

_**The Avenging Sorceress**__- I've often wondered what would happen if Fanfiction writers had confidence. The fan world might just fall in on its self. Don't say you suck, and even if the flames say so... well what kind of sad person sits around writing hate reviews to thirteen year olds with more imagination and bravery than their anonymous lazy ugly butts will ever have? If you want my best suggestion on improvement, the first thing you must do is take time to read over what you've written and check for simple things like spelling errors._

_I'm glad that our story makes you happy. We aim to please. _

_**Lifes.Lover**__- Symphony has spread it's influence far and wide I see. Good, it deserves it. And though I love angst emo cutting stories to pieces, I agree they soon get tiring. And repetitive, have you noticed that? I'm happy I made someone's day better by making them laugh. That's about as good as life gets for me. _

_**She-who-drinks-acid**__: gasp REPRESSSION? NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Must... write!_

_AS A NOTE TO ALL: On my own fanfiction page, FreakyBlondHair, I have started writing stuff. It's more ZEMYX for the converted, so go check it out!_

_Also, things will be... strange in November. Both Amaya and I are sworn to do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which is an online challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. My novel will actually be ANOTHER KH fic, horror-type and halfway an AU... it is its own beast, really. This could mean no update in November or I get crazy fired up and write a shit load. I'm not sure which yet. _

_**Warning or perhaps reason for celebration: THIS CHAPTER ISH SO GAY. **_

_Without further ado, I write!_

* * *

"Hey, Kiisa, another pot of Vodkoffe for table lavender!"

"Another!? I mean, uh, I'll get it!"

_There were a lot of details about this job that no one had really warned me about_, mused Kiisa as she ran behind the counter to the workroom dodging running fangirls and a couple of moogles for the freshly brewed pot of caffeine-beans-and-warm-Canadian-alcohol sludge. First, no one said she'd be threatened by flying bishounen with swords taller than themselves. Second, she wasn't aware that someone without a driver's license, permit, or even training was allowed to race a motorbike here. Third, she didn't know a Disney based park could serve that much alcohol and dammit, no one told her until she was serving that the tables were coded by color, not number!

Before she took the strange vodka and coffee combination to the table, she briefly wondered what it tasted like. After she tried, she remembered that she liked neither hard liquor nor black coffee, and quickly ran to her over-sugared mint herbal tea.

"Oi, Kiisa!"

"Eh! Coming!"

As she darted over to the lavender table, she glanced at the emerald table in the far corner, like she had been doing for the past half hour. Over there were two other bishounen who had attended- two of the very few who didn't have to be kidnapped. Well, one came of his own free will, since he actually liked the fangirls, and the other didn't want to risk what horrors would happen to his boyfriend if he didn't follow.

Demyx grinned and leaned in to the stoic man. "Oh come on Zexy, they aren't that bad. Even the ones who want to jump you are acting nice!"

"Don't call me Zexy in public," said the other in a tone that meant he had said this many times before, "and a fangirl is never just nice. She always wants something."

Demyx grinned even wider, leaning into Zexion whilst sticking a bite of strawberry cake on a fork into his mouth so he couldn't talk back. "Then we'll give them what they want. Fluff." So saying, he delicately planted a small kiss on Zexion's cheek, creating a tiny flower of a blush on the other man's face, who tried to shake it off and glare at him. Squeals of joy and thuds as fangirls fainted quickly rose in the background, and a few Xigbar/Demyx fans sulked in a corner, plotting.

Kiisa happily pranced off to the lavender table to deliver the strong brew before it's wafting smell caused her to fall asleep. She always found it strange how the scent of coffee beans made her tired, and the soporific buzz in the vodka didn't help the effect any.

She plunked the kettle down before the caffeine-loving drinkers and politely asked if that was all they'd be needing. After getting a confirmation, she decided to check on how the kidnapped Final Fantasy bishounen were doing. She soon realized she couldn't tell by the absolute mass of besotted fangirls surrounding them.

She rolled her eyes and returned to her tea before she could be ordered to do something else. Crowds were a natural repellent for her; she would let them have their fun.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh for the love of the Cetra I don't care if it makes some AMAZING innuendo that you find funny every time it's not physically possible."

"But his sword-"

"HOLY AND METEOR I HEAR ONE MORE PERVERTED JOKE ABOUT SEPHIROTH'S SWORD HEADS WILL ROLL."

"That grammar was so improper..." muttered Amaya, watching the facedown with great interest. It was greatly aggravated Cloud verses hormonal fangirls, with Sephiroth putting unwanted protection on Cloud's side. The numbers were slightly off, as it was about thirty four to one, or two if you consider Sephiroth as _helping_ Cloud, but up against Cloud's legendary stubbornness their carefully placed hints, innuendos, pressure, and begging had no effect. No contest, Amaya decided, from the beginning there was nothing to be won against Cloud. But it was fun to watch anyway, especially whenever Sephiroth tired to help Cloud and Cloud gave him the absolute coldest shoulder and iciest put-downs she had ever seen outside of junior high catfights.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaase, Cloudy? Just one itsy little kissy, please please please fishy?" begged one particularly annoying fangirl. Annoying or not, however, her Pout and Puppy Dog Eyes attacks were defiantly a force to be reckoned with. She could face off Zack or Demyx with those. But even that bounced off Cloud's Refusal reflector shield and Sephiroth began to feel that their was no hope for this to end nicely for him. You really have to wonder which side of the argument the man was on anyway. Amaya then got a brilliant idea. Well, brilliant by the standards of fangirl plans, which always involve phony tripping, spilling something, faking innocence, or using official tools of a job, often one they don't have, for their own needs. This involved all of them.

She rushed into the laboratory-kitchen and came out with a giant luke-warm pot of chocolate coffee. She half-ran over in her clicking heels to the table that Cloud and Sephiroth were being mobbed at and upon reaching it, happily cried 'Here's your coffee, sirs!' and had a priceless glance at their shocked and confused expressions right as she 'tripped' and the delicious caffeine drink went flying. The kettle soared over Cloud and hit Demyx, about fifteen feet behind him, right in the middle of his forehead, who fell backwards off his chair with what sounded like an incredible rendition of a chocobo's mating call. Luckily, by the time the pot gave Demyx brain damage it was empty, because the entirety of the contents had managed to land on Cloud's head during the aerial attack through the forces of Gravity and Comedy. And so sat the hero bishounen, completely drenched with a blank expression and his hair plastered down on his face, as Amaya cheered silently (and slightly painfully) on the floor and a shocked hush fell across the group. Well, a shocked hush aside from Demyx's squawking, Zexion's exasperated sighing, and Kiisa's uncontrolled laughter. If you want to know how much trouble you can get in from laughing at the wrong time in school of other public places, just ask Kiisa.

And Sephiroth seized his chance.

"Cloud." He tuned the shocked Blonde around in his chair to look at him. "Are you all right? It wasn't too hot, was it?" during this carefully placed question, he ran his hand across Cloud's face to check the warmth and slowly pulled his dripping chocolate-flavored hair from his eyes so that he could look into them. Eliciting no response yet, he stared directly at Cloud as he stared back and asked once again, quietly, "Are you alright?" And fangirls fainted.

Amaya stood up and looked at the carnage. Customers were confused or giggling, Kiisa was helping Zexion take care of the randomly spasming Demyx as well as she could while still shaking with muffled laughter, and over thirty fangirls were fallen on the ground in dead faint as Cloud stated blushing and placing totally unnecessary apologies for Sephiroth's hand on his face, and Demyx's forehead had just stopped the coffeepot from crashing through the currently fragile fourth wall. This, thought Amaya, I deserve a raise for.

She then wondered if she even got paid. Then she deserved to get paid for this.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kiisa set the boy down on the soft, cold dirt outside of the teahouse and away from potential crazy queens. Still chuckling slightly, she turned to Zexion with "Are you sure he'll be okay?"

Zexion rolled his eyes slightly. "Yes Kiisa, for approximately the fifteenth I tell you Demyx will be fine."

Kiisa grinned. "Making sure. I mean, it's usually worrisome when one's forehead is dark blue and they're spouting off quotes from the Wizard of Oz."

Zexion glared at her slightly. "He's overeating to make us worry. I'm sure his head is fine, well, no worse than usual, and the bruise will fix itself with time. Before then, he can just use more make-up."

"More?" asked Kiisa incredulously.

"H- Hey!" cried Demyx, standing up. "I am _so_ not overeating, this hurts! And I only use some concealer and eyeliner so stop making me sound ridiculously gay or something!"

In unison, fangirl and boyfriend replied "You _are _ridiculously gay."

Demyx stared at them in despair, than cried dramatically and plopped back down on the dirt, hiding his head in his hands as he stage-wailed. Zexion was used to Demyx's antics, and Kiisa was used to actors. So they just stared until he sighed, stopped, and said "Okay, 'm better. But yeah, I seriously need some more concealer now." He brightened. "Okay, hey, let's go to the Organization lounge in the World the Never Was but Is Now so I can fix this!"

Kiisa gasped in joy. "Me too?" she asked, her eyes staring to sparkle frighteningly.

Though Zexion started to protest, Demyx said "Yeah, you can come too! Things are a bit messy because we're organizing to start up Axelerate, but it's not too bad."

"Not too bad?" muttered Zexion. "Holes in the wall, halfway from painting the walls from neon green to bright pink when Marluxia and Larxene had a paint fight with black paint, underwear stuck to the ceiling and we discovered someone's collection of dead centipedes that blew up upon discovery and Larxene's ducks are practically running rampant, and it's not too bad?"

Kiisa smiled at Zexion. "Sounds lovely." Thus, Demyx started walking and Kiisa ran up next to him to chat and make sure that he was okay (AGAIN, Kiisa's such a mother) and Zexion followed right after them disapproving all the way.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Slowly, fangirls began to awaken in the Teahouse, scrambling to first-aid kits for fanfiction to revive their strength, some simply pulled phoenix downs from backpacks or purses. Cloud and Sephiroth had long since left, with rushed excuses about cleaning up. Mmmmmmm-hm, whatever you say.

Amaya was happily taking orders, waiting tables and singing, in joyful fangirlish haze. After explaining what had happened to two fangirl friends of hers, Amarissia and Erava, she suddenly gained the rank of 'Fangirl General' for being the one to start a yaoi couple, a box of super secret general supplies she would open later, a button to put on a purse strap or something that said 'Super awesome fangirl general' and copious amounts of praise for the show she created that was filmed by no less than a dozen camera phones and was already on Livejournal.

And so, with no more Bishounen and the fact that it was really late at night, the Fangirls who didn't work Vampire Shift (so it was named) were let to go and the Tea Party itself was declared over. After a round of 'Hail General Amaya of SephirothxCloud!" she left the tea house and stepped outside into the cooling night, saying, 'Wow Kiisa, wasn't that awesome?"

Silence.

She stood there in shock for a second. Kiisa, who had a habit of following those little wispy plant thing things in the air for miles, into traffic, through yards, until she was thoroughly lost, and hungry enough to start gnawing on the arms of complete strangers, was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh my god, oh my god, what do I do?" Amaya panicked, worried about her oblivious friend she had almost taken responsibility for.

"Okay, think Amaya, think... when in doubt, video game logic! Never failed before... I have been given a quest, find Kiisa. I am at level zero and too incompetent to accept this quest, unless I was handed a mysterious item recently... A HA! The Box!"

So saying, she immediately set upon the box she had been given in reward for becoming a General. Opening the box, she found a Mama Mia soundtrack, a Suna Gakure headband, a five pound box of Pixy Stix, a flashlight, a gaydar that looked like it had been put together with cardboard and duct tape, some rope, a pimp hat, a set of panpipes, and in the bottom of the box, hidden by the other junk, a Wand and an obligatory Trigun reference gathering dust in the corner. The wand had a plastic-looking black handle with a light blue gem shaped like a heart fastened fancily on top with light grey wings floating out next to the heart gem. It was pretty much a typical magic girl wand, aside from the color scheme.

Amaya's eyes widened as she pulled out the wand. Suddenly, the gem glowed with a bright blue light, and to her surprise, words floated in front of her.

WEAPON GAINED

LEVEL UP TO LEVEL FIVE!!

QUEST: RESCUE KIISA BEGUN

START TRANFORMATION SEQUENCE Y/N?

With a look of confusion, she tried poking the air where the 'Y' was. She felt something click under her finger, like there really was a key, and the words vanished. The gem on the wand burst with light and she felt herself being lifted into the air. Music started up in the background, as it had a habit of doing in the park. She closed her eyes and felt herself twirling around, the light starting to emanate from her. After a lot of spinning and almost feeling dizzy, she suddenly stopped, and with a sudden FWOOSH! She was clothed (since when was she naked??) in a incredibly ruffley black dress with charcoal grey underskirts and random bright blue highlights in the ribbons lacing up the front everywhere, with puffy grey inch straps and a pouffy skirt that only went past her thigh. Black gloves up to her elbows and cutting off just before her fingers appeared with light blue laces all the way down them and she touched ground just as she gained knee-high boots of the same type. As she grabbed the wand that was floating in the air, a bracelet with a blue gem encircled her right wrist and a sliver tiara appeared in a flash of brightness on her forehead a she truck a pose. In a final flash of blue brightness, puffy white wings appeared on her back, with a couple of feathers floating off.

As the music ended, she cried, "Alright! I am General Hitokiri Amaya-hime, and I stand for love, peace, yaoi and doughnuts!"

(Kiisa's note: Amaya says I watch too much Sailor Moon. I destroy the Fourth wall so I can run in and say BALDERDASH.)

With a 'that's right!' Something FURRY with GIANT BLUE EYES appeared next to her, smiling. Amaya screamed, brandished her wand and in a fit of inspiration shouted "HEARTLESS! DIE BY LIGHT!"

The furry thing got a chance to shout "No, WAIT!-" right before a bright blue beam of light shot from the overheating-from-transformation-stress wand and the thing dies with a loud screech, exploding into a million tiny blue sparkles that settled everywhere like glittery snow.

"Huh?" asked Amaya. "What happened?" She thought for a second, then gasped. "Oh no! I killed the cute little magic girl mascot... and it didn't give me any experience points! This is so cheap!"

She sighed and stood there for a second. A breeze went past, and she found herself hoping these magic girl outfits came with a winter clothing option.

"Huh... interesting." She sighed and put her hand around her mouth in a confused gesture. "Now... what was I doing again?"

A scream came from the direction of the City that Never Was. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF ZEMYX AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Amaya's head snapped up. "Oh right! Rescuing Kiisa!" And with that, she stuck the box full of Items in her inventory (nice skill to have, that one) and ran as fast as her high heeled boots could take her to the dark city of the Heartless.

* * *

_A/N: Process of Kiisa and Amaya writing: Kiisa adds in all sorts of random gadgets and weird things and people and ideas and cliffhangers and crap, and Amaya tries in vain to explain things in the next chapter before Kiisa just destroys it by doing something Random again._

_BTW, Erava, do you mind being in this story? We're thinking of giving you a bigger part but need your permission first, obviously. Luv joo!)_


	7. Kiisa Levels Up! Kleptomania included

_A/N: Well, school has started and I am getting back into the creative habits paying no attention in class leaves me with. So I drew pictures to go with the fic and actually wrote this chapter and the side story I put in at the end. The side story in question deals with one of our newest characters who, unfortunately, hasn't been introduced properly and was only briefly mentioned last chapter. Now we have her permission to go a little crazier with her character and "Kleptomania" was born._

_TearWorkshop: I want an Inventory too. Too bad I can only use it in this story; it'd be handy for school. I wouldn't have to carry my crazy heavy books all over the place._

_Amarissia: Spiritual turkey, huh? Wow. Uh, I'm still terrified of ducks, but I'm sure Kiisa will find a way to bring them in for Cloudy. Sora is over? Tell him hello for me, alright? And I'm glad you guys found the Cloud/Seph moment enjoyable. We're working on getting more but it needs to have some time before we can get them to come around and make out for the fangirls._

_Lia Silverfrond: I'm ever so happy you continue to find our story enjoyable. - Hope this chapter lives up to expectations!_

_Kitara Strife: Wow, I woke up a few days ago and checked my e-mail to find all the reviews you left. You have no idea how happy I was. You seriously made my day with those. - As for the Suna headband and Trigun reference, I'm keeping them. Sorry, Suna's my favorite Naruto village and Kiisa recently got me interested in Trigun. As for the fact that Kiisa split Sunagakure into two words… I'm ashamed that I didn't catch that._

_Sulhadanhe: Of course characters outside of FF and KH will show up! We made plans from day 1 to dedicate a few chapters to our favorite Tales of Symphonia authors and fics. And we'll likely sneak in characters from other places as well. After all, Kingdom Hearts is simply one big crossover! -_

_Warning/Cause for Celebration: Axelerate! is finally starting_

_Disclaimer: I don't own it, I have no money._

* * *

"Amaya? Demyx? Zexion? Hello? Anyone?" Kiisa called out into the air, wondering just where the heck she was. She had gotten separated from Demukusu and Zexy and tried to follow the signs to get out but they didn't exactly help. In fact, now she was even more lost.

Then a change in the music caught Kiisa's attention. For the past hour or so she had been trying to ignore the tune that resembled something that would play in a maze and keep her anxiety in check. It hadn't worked. So when the speakers began pumping out ominous sounding battle music she began to panic. Well, more than she had been for the past few hours.

"Help! Somebody! Anybody! Help! I'm too young to die and not have a Phoenix Down equipped!" Running in circles, a low growl issued from the bushes to her left and a crash announced the presence of a large, lumbering, fat heartless. "I'm level zero! Go away!"

The heartless stopped for a moment, looking at Kiisa as though sizing her up. Apparently, it found her to be an easy enough target and lumbered forward again. At that point, Kiisa did the only thing that she could think of, ran in the opposite direction screaming at the top of her lungs. "OH FOR THE LOVE OF ZEMYX AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

"You know, that isn't going to help." A disembodied voice commented as she ran for her hit points. "Why don't you try summoning your weapon? It wouldn't come after you if you didn't have one." Tripping, Kiisa face planted into the forest floor.

"What do you mean I have a weapon?" She demanded, looking around for the source of the voice. Five seconds later, she found the Cheshire cat grinning from atop a tree branch.

"Exactly what I said, you have a weapon. Just summon it."

"But, but I don't know how!" Kiisa floundered, looking for a stick or something to fend the rogue hologram off. "What am I supposed to do?"

"If I told you that'd ruin the fun." The cat grinned and stared to fade out. "Have a good time."

"I hate you!" Kiisa scowled, tossing the stick she had found towards the disappearing grin. Then, as the rumbling and crashing started up again, Kiisa looked up to find that the heartless had caught up. "Oh crap. What do I do? Uh… uhhh, I summon… THE BINDER OF DOOM!" she yelled, not surprised when nothing happened. To be honest, the binder of doom was a joke from 7th grade when she had used her binder to whack people upside the head. It was old, it was bad, and it was the first thing that had come to her mind. Then, as suddenly as the music started, it paused and silence reigned as a number of floating letters appeared in front of her.

WEAPON GAINED

LEVEL UP TO LEVEL FIVE!!

After a few seconds where her brain imploded and resurrected itself the words vanished and a blue light shone in front of her. Now, like any good fangirl, she reached out to touch the shiny thing and was rewarded with an item, and irony at its finest rewarded her with her old binder, ink doodles and everything. "Holy and meteor…" Kiisa muttered, astonished at the fact that it actually worked. "Well, here goes nothing…" she sighed and proceeded to run at the heartless even though her instincts screamed that she was suicidal.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Kiisa!" Amaya yelled as she made her way through the forest and into a clearing where her friend was mauling a heartless. Startled, she stepped back a pace and observed as Kiisa brutally assaulted the Large Body with the power of the Binder of Doom, and then proceeded to laugh as the poor heartless was destroyed with a final hit.

"Nice, Kiisa," Amaya grinned as the girl turned to look at Amaya.

"Aya, is that you? Why do you look like you just stepped out of a shoujo manga?" Kiisa asked, looking at Amaya like she had, well, stepped out of a shoujo manga.

"Likely the same reason you were using your binder in a display that was fit for Saïx in berserk mode." Amaya shrugged as she finally turned her attention to taping up the hole in the fourth wall. Kiisa blinked and looked down at the binder then back at where the heartless had been.

"I'm blaming my Scottish blood." Then, suddenly a thought struck her. "Hey, Aya, lookie what I can do!" At those words another set of floating letters popped up in front of Amaya.

KIISA WISHES TO JOIN YOUR PARTY Y/N?

Sighing, Amaya pressed the 'Y' and the words rearranged themselves.

BINDER BERSERKER KIISA HAS JOINED YOUR PARTY.

QUEST: RESCUE KIISA FINISHED

-PRIZE: ANGEL BANGLE

Kiisa grinned as a set of letters appeared in front of her as well.

GENERAL HITOKIRI AMAYA-HIME HAS ACCEPTED YOU INTO THE PARTY.

"Well, that seemed rather pointless." Amaya groused, looking at her partner. At least she had gained an item for her trouble. "I guess this way we'll share experience points next time?"

"I dunno," Kiisa shrugged. "I just thought it was cool. So what's with the magical girl thing, anyway? What can you do?"

"Uh, I actually don't know…" Amaya blushed. "I accidentally killed my furry little mascot thingy but it didn't give me experience points. I don't really know how I did it, either."

"Oh, well, whatever. Hey, Demuku and Zexy invited me to go to the World That Never Was but Is Now, do you want to come?"

"Are the ducks still there?" Amaya asked suspiciously.

"Probably," Kiisa shrugged. "But you can attack them now if they attack you. So can we go? Please?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

As the girls walked into the Castle that Never Was they were happily surprised to find it deserted. Then again, the park was closed to everyone except employees at this time of night. But still, to have no random battles popping up was a nice change from their walk over.

"We're lost, Kiisa." Amaya glared at her partner. "Again."

"Hey, I'm trying! And I don't see you finding the elevator!" Kiisa exclaimed.

"Ugh, okay, if I remember correctly, this walkway leads to the Proof of Existence so…"

"Take them! I give them to you! Use them wisely! Do not falter! Try to be the humans you once were, and grow! Grow again!" A woman's voice called out through the silence and the two fangirls stopped dead in their tracks.

"Uh, Kiisa, I think I know why there aren't any nobodies hanging around." Amaya whispered. "I think Axelerate! started."

Kiisa grinned and looked at her companion, "Well, let's go watch then. We just need to stay clear of the cameras that will be broadcasting this around the park tomorrow morning." Amaya slowly nodded and the girls crept up to the doorway where they watched Tsuki give the Organization heart pieces. The scene was incredible and the girls looked on in awe as the Dream-Catcher collapsed the two into the depths of the castle.

As soon as they were certain that the scene had ended, the girls backed away silently and walked back to the ground floor, searching for the elevator without Kiisa's input. Close to a half an hour later they located it, but only due to the fact that Xigbar had walked out humming a tune that sounded suspiciously like the Beach Boys' "Kokomo".

"Hey! Xiggy!" Kiisa yelled, as Amaya was busy singing Kokomo along with Xigbar's humming. The pirate/surfer/nobody stopped and turned, raising an eyebrow at the girls.

"You're the two from this morning, right? Demyx is panicking upstairs because he thinks he lost you." Then he suddenly turned around and opened the elevator door for them. "Run along and calm the kid down, I've got to go find Larxene." Without another word, he resumed humming and walked away.

"Well, that was convenient." Amaya shrugged, as Kiisa ran inside the elevator.

xxxxxKleptomaniaxxxxx

Erava was bored. All of the other girls, including the Vampire Shift, had left the Teahouse for their homes outside the park or their apartments within the residential areas, said residential areas being Twilight Town, Traverse Town, and Destiny Island. Then again, a good portion of them might have just left to go level up before returning to their designated sleeping areas. Sometimes Erava envied the people that didn't need to reach the outermost edges of the park before reaching their beds. Twilight was where she rented an apartment and it was on the edge of the park furthest from Wonderland. Really, the only good thing about it was that it was cheap and most of her co-workers/friends lived there too. In any case she was bored, and not quite sleepy enough to return to Twilight Town. So she was alone, alone with itchy fingers.

This proceeded to explain the reason why she was creeping into the kitchen at 3 in the morning and going through the cabinets. It wasn't as though she was going to keep anything she found, she was just borrowing it. Just like how she had borrowed the Gummi ship last Tuesday so she could stalk Vincent. And then didn't return it because she forgot where she had lifted it from. Not like it really mattered though since no one seemed to care enough to report it missing.

Opening a new cabinet, she grinned. "Bingo," she muttered. Earlier, Kiisa had mentioned that there was some ninja stuff in the cupboard near the stove with the giant sword. Like all the other curious waitresses, Erava had found the giant sword that belonged to one of their cooks named Nicole, better known as Kelle611 by the FFN junkies. But she hadn't found the treasure trove of shurikens and kunai before and when Kiisa mentioned it she had been reminded of why she took this job. She wanted to be a ninja. Well, she wanted to stalk Vinny too and the job had given her the perfect excuse to do so, but she wanted to be a ninja even more. So she had been disappointed to find out that even with the Teahouse job she might not be able to become a ninja. To level up for the first time she needed to have a park recognized weapon and the ability to use it in the first place. So she had to be careful about what she picked up, the park had some strange weapon parameters set. Erava knew for a fact that one girl used a mop like someone might use a wooden staff and, of course, there was Demyx and his sitar.

Quickly, she snatched the shuriken and kunai and scampered out of the building and into the nearby forest that led to the Wonderland docks. A brisk pace had her nearly to the docks before a set of floating words caused her to stop in her tracks. Curious, she poked a finger through an "L" and found that it went straight through.

"Okay…?" She blinked, finally deciding to read the text.

WEAPON GAINED

LEVEL UP TO LEVEL 5!!

ABILITY GAINED - STEAL

Shortly after she finished reading the words vanished, leaving her slightly confused and more than a little ecstatic. She was a ninja now! Then she remembered the wise words of Review: "Watch out for Jabberwocks once you level up enough to fight. They're nasty. I almost got killed by one on my way to the docks when I first leveled up." Gulping, Erava cast a quick glance over her shoulder and, seeing nothing, scrambled onto her gummi ship and headed to her Twilight Town apartment. She really didn't want to get attacked right now.

* * *

_Well, that's over and done with. And for anyone interested in seeing the pictures I drew, I should have them up on Livejournal in a few days. I just need to get the blasted scanner working. You know the drill: click the little review button please! (Oh, for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, the homepage link on my profile leads you to Kiisa's and my shared livejournal.)_


End file.
